Still taking it a day at a time

[SteveLW]

Actually, I think the big difference is that pretty early on in my sitch I began to embrace the idea of her leaving and us getting a D.

Uuuumm you may want to reread your sitch when you have time. Your memory may be a little clouded (fog) lol.

I also need to correct you. While I probably ate more crap sandwiches than I should have, I certainly would not characterize it as "a lot".

" a lot" is certainly subjective

The point I think for May here is that she has to be CLEAR what she requires for Ring and piecing. Allowing him to slink back into MR 1.0, without working on the issues that opened him up to the OW to begin with, is a recipe for future disaster.

The problem is that shipped has sailed. She let him off the hook too easily.

So yes, remorse on the cheating spouse's part is a must. But another must is the LBS knowing what they want in Ring and piecing, and clearly articulating that to their WAS....and having the backbone to adhere to that.

You see Steve we both agree here lol.

I understand you feel you understand the dynamics of my situation more than I do. So we will agree to disagree.

In general I stand by what I said:

May is handling her sitch like I did the my 2005 sitch.

May needs to be handling her sitch like I did my 2017 sitch, as imperfect as that handling was at times.