May, it's so good to "see" you. I felt like I could have written so much of your original post on this thread. I could feel the ups and downs and frustrations. You seem so much more empowered and healthy. It seems you are on the right track. The whole thing is just so freaking hard. I struggle with feeling positive and then super mad. But I think like this thread has mentioned, the best thing for us in this position is to keep empowering ourselves and stop making our spouse the focus and center of our energy.

me: 46 h: 49
m: 24 T: 27
DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12
BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016
BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016
BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.