So May Im going to challenge you to just live the next 20 days enjoying your children and the holidays and try to block everything else out. Stay in the moment for 20 days focusing on the present.

Also I can see whats happening and its actually pretty predictable. You have been growing, learning everything about relationships and your husband is standing still. You are looking for some simple validation and hes not able to provide it. You are more then likely not going to be able to go backwards unless you sacrifice your needs.

I think you and I are a lot alike and up to a year ago I was still looking at reconciliation with my ex for my kids and familiarity/history. My ex was obsessed with the bachelorette and loved the movie Bad Moms. Last Saturday I was on a date with an Ivy League PhD, fitness competition winner, who has traveled the world and done habitat for humanity in South America. Why would I want to go backwards? To say I won? For my kids who will be adults soon?