What would be your motive in warning STBXW about the envelope? Presumably, you filed for D because you're ready for that solo journey--not as a "one last chance" (an ultimatum).

May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha