Some sad cry to the ether that nobody actually cares about, I saw it was some some pity me crap and I deleted it. I never post anything. WW must have been stalking it because she text me and asked me why I took it down. I replied with "I don't want anyone to judge you, everyone feels sorry for me and thinks I was a perfect man, its not fair" She said "awww, its okay". I just said kiss our babies for me, goodnite.

And, why did her text compel a responding text from you? You appear to be compulsive. You need a method to follow in order to break your compulsiveness to text her. You chose not to contact her when the nurse (or whoever) asked you, but just one text from your WW takes away any sense of logic. You want to say something to her than will shock her into see what she's done. You want her to feel badly for how you are suffering. Sorry, but it sounds pathetic! Telling her to kiss "our" babies..........seriously? A blind person could see how you are trying to provoke some kind of guilt or pity. Your words DO NOT WORK. Give up the words.

She said "awww, its okay".

How did her statement make you feel? Can't you see how she mocks you?

I hope she doesnt reach out today for anything. If its about kids ill say yes, no, whatever minimum.

So your success depends solely on a whether or not your wayward EX reaches out? And, BTW, let's not call it reaching out b/c that leans toward something that's totally opposite of the nature of the WW. She was not reaching out..........she was being nosy. I think she gets her kicks seeing you as a whipped pup.

Remember a few posts ago, you talked on the phone "about the kids", which quickly led to have another R talk. tired You simply experienced a short lived relief of pressure on your emotions. That's all. You won't even admit you called her with the intentions of talking about her, OM, and once again, trying telling her it's not too late to save the M. You have to be honest with yourself. You knew how you were feeling when you made the call.......and yet you excused it by throwing the kids into the conversation. This is not an acceptable kid-related contact!! It was not an emergency.

You told us in so many words that even though it didn't change the sitch.......you did feel better for telling her how you felt. This is such a misconception LBH's have, b/c they think something needs to be said. Even if they feel better after saying the words, They haven't impress the WW by having another talk. This is a basic concept LBH's must have about his WW. I know you still believe you can appeal to her emotions, and it will make her start thinking about what's doing. I KNOW YOU DO.......otherwise why would you continue talking to her? You must believe your words will impact her, and that's why you keep at it. Until you get it in through your head that it only add gasoline to the fire.........our advice/support is useless. She doesn't have a soft spot in her heart that will melt when you explain your feelings & concerns.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!