Originally Posted by Steve_
Yep I was trying to like get her to see reality. Try to make her see the consequences of her actions. After IC I see that I was trying to manipulate still. Which is why I wont be taking to her at all anymore unless she reaches out for the kids or its an emergency. The reason she kept running is because we manipulated each other back. That cant happen anymore. She must choose to be with me of her own accord or it wont ever work. And the way the therapist explained it today It doesnt make my day to day easier yet but I do feel that I really need to detach and let the cards fall as they may. I this will be my first straight 48 hours of no contact at all. The first 24 was really hard. Still hard now but its what I need to do its not like I have a choice if I want to get better.

This is great! This is what we tried so hard to get you to see. Every time you made a little comment to her "Well, you aren't moving towards me." "The kids will be upset once they realize that OM is more than a friend" etc, it was you still trying to wake her up and manipulate her and the situation! I am glad the IC was able to get through, and that is what we were so hoping for you.

I really believe that IC is a 100% must. Those posters that resist it flail along with bad decision after bad decision. We've seen some examples of that here over the last few years, and it is always painful for those of us that want to and try to help to witness. The biggest excuse is "I can't afford it", and my response is always the same: You cannot afford NOT to!

Keep moving forward Steve_, you've got this.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018