Hi Steve_,

Sounds like a great session! I deleted this, then re-added it. It seems in-line with her advice--

Originally Posted by Steve_
It was about the kids and that was it. I dont know where I went terrible wrong here. Maybe I just dont get it. It was a conversation I couldnt avoid.


You certainly could. I'm on good enough terms with my ex-wife she wants to rekindle a relationship--and we don't chat as often as you and your ex-wife! My GF doesn't call or see her ex-husband at all.

Consider just the first statement you made--

Originally Posted by Steve_
I told her once they find out OM is more than a friend it will hurt them and change thier relationship with her forever and we need to prepare for that. Especially with my son. She continues to deny it will be a problem and says he and OM get along fine. Sure, until he realizes thats who replaced daddy. But I guess thats her problem.


First, "we" (you and her) no longer exist.

Second, telling her what she NEEDS to do is controlling. You've done that multiple times in this thread. She doesn't have to prepare for that. She's an adult and the kids' guardian during her custody period. She gets to decide what's best for them during her custody period, short of certifiable neglect or abuse.

Third, you say "That's her problem." If you truly believe that, this interaction was more about her than the kids. If you believe this is a problem for your son, then take action yourself. Be a leader instead of a follower or that person who tells others what to do! Make YOUR story epic and amazing.