Hi Steve, I'm so glad you're starting therapy!! You've struggled with letting go. You keep contacting her (and allowing her to contact you), trying to control her (and allowing her to control you). A therapist can be very helpful at figuring out why you're not able to move beyond your old patterns and form effective strategies for doing so. I seek therapists when I feel in a mental rut. Asking for help at the right times is a strength.

May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha