I dont mind the 2x4s I would be solo flying it without them and doing a whole lot worse. I looked for this site and bought MWDs books to save my marriage. Ill be honest I still want to do that. I know what I have done wasnt strong, wasnt secure. But her sister did share with me that because I have been so good to her its making it really hard for her to do it. She expected me to rage, to cut her off to fight everything and I didnt. I have broke some DB rules absolutely. But I do have some solice in the fact that I didnt do anything so terribly wrong it destroyed my chances of recon. I do know that she was going to go this path regardless of what I did or said, she made so much quick investment into it to not try it out. I thought really long and hard about things today, what her sister said and so on and what you guys have been saying. I think its not time to be nice or to try anymore. She got plenty of that and her safety net is still there so she can continue on. I have to detach now, I have physically and now Im working on emotionally. I know you guys are pros but its only been exactly 1 month since I found out about OM. And yesterday was the first holiday my kids were gone. Its really hard to just change who I am and how Im programmed to save this even if its bad for me. I know I frustrate a lot of you with the mistakes I made of trying to nice her back. But I will do better. I wont contact her anymore unless its about the children. Between us things are distant but okay. She is not mean to me, told her sister she isnt mad at me 1% and now its a great time to just back away. I didnt see it before I thought I could do or say something to make this stop. Thats what I came here looking for. I came here for answers on how to not lose my wife forever. But I know its not in my hands anymore. All I can do now is smart contact and put it in gods hands. I will do better and Ill update when Ive made it a week without any R talks. Thats my goal right now. To make it til next Wednesday without anything other than polite yes or no answers to her regarding the kids. Also another goal is to do some exercising this week. Ill let you know how that goes.

K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.