[Steve_]

I don’t mind the 2x4’s I would be solo flying it without them and doing a whole lot worse. I looked for this site and bought MWD’s books to save my marriage. I’ll be honest I still want to do that. I know what I have done wasn’t strong, wasn’t secure. But her sister did share with me that because I have been so good to her it’s making it really hard for her to do it. She expected me to rage, to cut her off to fight everything and I didn’t. I have broke some DB rules absolutely. But I do have some solice in the fact that I didn’t do anything so terribly wrong it destroyed my chances of recon. I do know that she was going to go this path regardless of what I did or said, she made so much quick investment into it to not try it out. I thought really long and hard about things today, what her sister said and so on and what you guys have been saying. I think it’s not time to be nice or to try anymore. She got plenty of that and her safety net is still there so she can continue on. I have to detach now, I have physically and now I’m working on emotionally. I know you guys are pros but it’s only been exactly 1 month since I found out about OM. And yesterday was the first holiday my kids were gone. It’s really hard to just change who I am and how I’m programmed to save this even if it’s bad for me. I know I frustrate a lot of you with the mistakes I made of trying to nice her back. But I will do better. I won’t contact her anymore unless it’s about the children. Between us things are distant but okay. She is not mean to me, told her sister she isn’t mad at me 1% and now it’s a great time to just back away. I didn’t see it before I thought I could do or say something to make this stop. That’s what I came here looking for. I came here for answers on how to not lose my wife forever. But I know it’s not in my hands anymore. All I can do now is smart contact and put it in god’s hands. I will do better and I’ll update when I’ve made it a week without any R talks. That’s my goal right now. To make it til next Wednesday without anything other than polite yes or no answers to her regarding the kids. Also another goal is to do some exercising this week. I’ll let you know how that goes.