[SteveLW]

So her sister called me. She knows her best in the world. Interesting talk with her. Turns out the whole thing was exactly as I had thought. Her sister told me she calls her crying all the time that OM has done a few things to make her mad and she has considered leaving already but he cries and begs. OM says he loves her so much and WW says she loves him too but she will leave and doesn’t care if it works out or not. He also has given her all the power already. The sister doesn’t like him for her, the whole family doesn’t like him and they are all like wow, he is controlling her and she’s not even close to the same person. They said those two are 1000% different. This doesn’t seem like the exit affair this seems like a typical affair that required a divorce and one she thought she can just reverse like the others. I felt I should have told her that the entire time but she definitely knows it. Not a single family member thinks it will work out for her with him they are completely different and she’s doing things for him she never liked doing like staying at home, giving up her job, and cooking meals 3x a day for 3-5 kids. That is completely not her personality at all. He left his W cause she was gullible and not so smart and he likes my WW because she is. This dude doesn’t know it but he just threw a woman he could control and command in the garbage for one that is wild and doesn’t care. Who knows maybe they will work things out and be great for each other. But he has already got massive NGS and fear of losing her. Crying and begging her to stay after only a month? Living together? Yikes. She’s gonna destroy this guy too. If he gives her any reason or ever stands up for himself she’s gone. That really made me see that she really didn’t change at all. I was worried she would move on to some happy new life and already it’s not going as smooth as she thought. You guys are 100% right! I need to turn and run before she figures it out haha

You also need to not keep up these conversations about her with mutual friends, and certainly not Her family! Next time her family calls politely say you do not want to discuss her, and then turn the conversation to how great you are doing, and plans you have for you and your son.

The problem you have Steve is you are codependent and overly attached. And hearing all of this is not helping you with that at all. Plus her sister hearing how great you are doing and all the great plans you have as a dad will make it back to her, and that you had no desire to talk about her. That would show her you are moving on. Now she will hear about how you were so interested to hear about her and OM.

Until your focus is off of her you'll continue to struggle.