Great post Joseph.
Though really Steve, the below quotes should take all of you focus.
"My son was sad all day long because I wasn't there."
"My son doesn't want to sleep in the bed there anymore he told her he wants to stay on the couch with her."

That means on your own time you make sure YOU feel good and have sufficient resources to have a good life with your kids. And while you have time with your kids you focus on them, show them love, have a good time, go to the woods, hug them and let them talk if they need it.
Her? Really? Who gives a d@mn. You cant control any of it anyway.
I would suggest email only from now on.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021