I started to type out why I was and realized ..thats an R talk, no no no. Not doing that. Just left it at on the phone with bank Ill have em call you shortly it wasnt a big step but I did resist the urge to have an R talk.

Fk yes grin grin

That is the first time youve intervened yourself, because you KNOW anything further would have created pain for you.

Do this over and over and over again. Stick to your mandate. And each time you do that it will get incrementally easier.

I was very similar to you when I arrived. A love sick puppy who took everything on as my fault and would have moved mountains to make it work, not realising this person I was trying to live was incredibly messed up and toxic. Today, 12 months after I came here in despair - Ive just served her with divorce papers. You will get your strength back. Its just a slow process, all you have to do is one interaction at a time. Dont worry about tomorrow, or next week, or next month. Just worry about today.

And go get fit.