Hi Steve_,

Originally Posted by Steve_
I did ask the VA to get me into some therapy

This really is what's most important. Your brain tells you to STOP contacting her, but your emotions are in control. What you described feeling towards her sounds like 80% addiction and 20% love. Really consider blocking her calls and texts until you've gone to a few therapy sessions and feel in control again.

Originally Posted by Steve_
as far as the holidays go I am working all of them this year

Huh?! My kids are so important to me, I would never consider working every holiday. I would re-evaluate this one. What do you value in life, and is this choice supporting your values? It's okay if you have different values. This is more a question of alignment than a question of right or wrong.

Originally Posted by Steve_
Other than that can take some long walks do some push ups, sit ups etc. once this knot of anxiety leaves my chest I’ll be good to go.

Yes! I love the feeling of working out and being more fit--even if I can only squeeze 20-30 minutes in most days. Yesterday it was just squats, calf raises, bridges, and one-legged balances.