Joejoe, great update. Interesting on the revenge feelings, and wanting to make her feel what you felt. I haven't experienced that. I've been heads down into working at our MR. I think for me that is the biggest learning that came out of my sitch, and it was too bad it took 19 years to learn, and that is you never stop working at your marriage.
In fact, I believe now that from your wedding day forward you are piecing! I think if we, as a society, took that notion then we would start working on our marriages from day one, and keep working on them until one of us passed away. But so many of us have the attitude that we can just relax and take it easy after marriage and stop trying, that we are leading up to a BD almost from the get-go!
I just heard on a podcast, someone I have a great deal of respect for, talking about this same exact thing. She was told by a wise old relative when she got married that divorce didn't exist for her. That even the word should never be uttered. That from her wedding day forward she was to fight for and work at her marriage to make it successful. Now decades later, after many ups and downs especially in her first 10 years of marriage, she and her husband have a wonderful, mutual rewarding marriage. Because they both work at it.
Great update joe. I'll be on the lookout now for the feeling of wanting her to feel what I did coming up on 3 years ago (kind of funny how similar the timing is for the two of us, as if we were preordained to be support for one another). Hopefully it passes quickly for you, and hopefully I never need to deal with it.
Keep posting, buddy! You are inspiration for the board!
M(51), W(52),D(16) M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018