Later he came down and said that it is hard for him to see me unhappy. (Quiet = unhappy, I guess.) He doesn't know what to do about it. It frustrates him. He feels like he's come a long ways from where he was but he isn't all the way to where I want him to be and I am not recognizing any of the progress he has made.
"Please do my emotional labour so I can feel better. And give me a cookie while you're at it."
Alternatively,
"Me, me, me, me, me, me."
Be careful with his sense of entitlement, May. He is not entitled to your validation or forgiveness or reconciliation. It is a gift you choose to give him. And I don't know if he realises that.
Oh, his entitlement is so obvious it is blinding me. I really wanted to ask him if he wanted a cookie but I refrained. (What I did say though in addition to what I typed above, before I said the part about being glad he hadn't left, was that it was kind of like congratulating someone for not committing murder. Like, good job? I left that part out... not sure why. Felt like i was showing my non-detachment and am trying so hard to be detached so forgave myself that little slip.)
Anyway, yes. I agree with you one thousand percent. Trying not to let it bother me, though-- not in my control. I think engaging with him right now in conversations like this is not really productive from my perspective.
But the main reason I shared it was because Sage had just commented about it, and then it happened in such an obvious way.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
