Originally Posted by sandi2
Thanks for responding, May. I try to learn from others on the board, and that's why I'm trying to understand your thinking.

I have been thinking about this just recently, how some people may feel a bit pressured. I don't think it's intended, but in trying to help someone through their pain, it may be perceived as pressuring. I do believe we all speak from a place of experience, directly or indirectly. It does bother me, however, to know you have felt pressured by the board. Some of us speak rather bluntly, and it may sound as if we are being harsh, or maybe superimposing our views on someone else. However, what does it accomplish if the other person can't freely make their decisions based on the information they are given? It's their life, and we are suppose to be a support group. Sometimes, we might need to be reminded, lest we get carried away with trying to get them to see our own views.

I donít mind the blunt speaking. It just bothers me when people insult others. We are all different and live our lives differently. I just like to get other peopleís advice because sometimes when you are in the thick of things you donít see everything. I donít want anyone to sugar coat anything for me. I want the truth and I want it straight forward. I completely understand why some of you get frustrated with me. I am just trying to put everything together from what I am going through, to things I read, to the advice from this board. Again, I apologize for coming on here and not giving the whole story. Sometimes on here I feel like that peopleís point of view is everything and we must listen. I was on other marriage saving websites at the beginning and some of their views were the complete opposite of what is told here. Which can make things confusing. So, I try to hear everyone out and then make my decision. Sorry if I made it sound like tell me what to do, and then I didnít do it. That is frustrating. I should have phrased it differently.
Gotta run. Oh and Sandi my GF has another job and started Monday.

M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20