Originally Posted by may22
hi Sandi,

(Sorry Wolf to hijack)

Originally Posted by Sandi
Why would you have freaked if you were already living with the man? I mean, would it have been due to finances and the responsibility of being a single mom? If I'm understanding you correctly, you had no qualms about living together outside of marriage. I guess it's difficult for me to understand how it would be a necessity to live together before even becoming engaged, but pregnancy would bring a different moral code into the relationship. And if it's not based on morals, then what is it?

I guess it is a moral thing for me. Again, I'm not religious, but I had never seen divorce as an option and have only slowly come around to it from constant pressure on this board, which is weird as a "divorce busting" board but that is neither here nor there. I feel strongly about giving children, if you choose to have them, the best possible environment and for me, that would mean parents who are married to each other, to the extent that is under your control. I know plenty of people who have kids together and aren't married. That is their choice and I don't judge. It just isn't what I had always imagined for my own life.


May I have felt that way too. Divorce is not an option. I wasn’t always happy with my ex but I felt like I had to stick it out for the children. I feel that kids should have both parents. I think everyone has an idea what family is. I believe it’s being married with the kids. Don’t get me wrong, if there is drug abuse, physical abuse those sort of things are a no go for me or would be good for the children. Just my opinion, we are too quick to “replace” people who aren’t working out like they are supposed to. We have become too desensitized to the idea of divorce. I honestly thought before my divorce it was “no big deal” because I saw and heard about it all the time. Keep in mind for me too, no one in my family ever got divorced or did I have any friends growing up that came from divorced family’s. I am only going by what I saw and heard in the media. I just don’t think it’s fair for the children, to bounce back and forth between homes, to have no stability. So for me I truly want it to work for me and my GF, I don’t want to have more kids without stability. So May I am kinda on your boat with that. Oh and you are not hijacking at all. I love all the commentary.

I am going to address each one of your posts separately.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20