I feel like I'm the only one here asking for a little sympathy for this woman, and I'm not even a fan-- she may very well be the sociopath you're all making her out to be.
I wouldn't go that far, to say she's a sociopath. Maybe this story touches your heart in a way it doesn't me. I don't have a lot of compassion for a modern 26 yr old flight attendant, (who was not a virgin when she met Wolf, and if memory serves me right, started sleeping him right away)....... and yet, she still didn't take precaution to protect herself. Not when they started dating, and not when she moved in with him. How much sense does that make? This isn't the 40's or 50's when girls were jumping off bridges b/c they got pregnant. They didn't have BC pills and wasn't passing out free condoms, like it is today. So, yes, I am suspicious of a woman who pretends to be one way while she's trying to snag the guy, and then gets pregnant and shows a different side and pressurizes him to marry her immediately. And yes, I feel she was trying to snag him all this time. I'm not putting all the blame of getting pregnant on her, b/c neither of them took steps in preventing it.......but I'm saying in this day & time, why would a modern woman not protect herself from pregnancy if she's going to have sex? If it had been an one time slip up, I might feel more compassion. If she had been taking BC pills, and still got pregnant, then I might have more compassion, but I just don't get why a woman with an exciting career would intentionally have unprotected sex for a continuous period of time. I think she had her sights set on marrying Wolf.
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And let me say that I lived with my H before we were married and was not at all embarrassed about that-- in fact, I thought it was a must before getting engaged. However, I would have been hugely freaked out to be pregnant and unmarried (and I'm not religious at all).
Why would you have freaked if you were already living with the man? I mean, would it have been due to finances and the responsibility of being a single mom? If I'm understanding you correctly, you had no qualms about living together outside of marriage. I guess it's difficult for me to understand how it would be a necessity to live together before even becoming engaged, but pregnancy would bring a different moral code into the relationship. And if it's not based on morals, then what is it?
According to Wolf, she said she would be too embarrassed to be pregnant and not married. Why be embarrassed after you get pregnant, if you don't care what other people think about your life style or choices? I think maybe you are saying something else, but IDK for certain. Is it about morals? Does it change when a pregnancy shows up? I get the feeling Wolf isn't concerned about the moral side or how it looks to other people. My intentions were to point out to Wolf that he should not be pressured into marrying her, due to the pregnancy. Take responsibility and be in the child's life, yes, but don't get married if he doesn't love her. IMHO, there are big red flags waving in their relationship.
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I don't know a single couple who got married before they moved in together, but that's just me.
My H and I were virgins on our wedding night. I was very young, and had never even seen a picture of a naked man, and had certainly never heard of oral sex (which is getting off the subject), but that's how it was. I've known many, many people who fell in love and waited until their wedding night to have sex. People grow up with different views & opinions. I just wanted you to know, there really have been people who got married without living together first, or even having sex. My grandparents had never kissed before their wedding ceremony, and I remember asking her what if he had been a bad kisser, and she said it would not have mattered b/c she loved him. So, I measure how as a teenager I thought about how strange my grandparents were for never kissing each other before the wedding......and today with how people can't imagine marrying someone without first having sex with them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My grandparents had never kissed before their wedding ceremony, and I remember asking her what if he had been a bad kisser, and she said it would not have mattered b/c she loved him. So, I measure how as a teenager I thought about how strange my grandparents were for never kissing each other before the wedding......and today with how people can't imagine marrying someone without first having sex with them.