Oh no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to set you on a negative path.
Have you thought further about pulling the trigger on the post-nup, then, as a way to take the pressure off? You haven’t missed the boat on that opportunity yet, but I worry that H has less to fear as time goes on, and more time to think about what he wants and how to get it. If he is truly remorseful, he will understand that is an exercise in building trust, not a threat.
Just gently, asking H to leave won't work because you cannot control that outcome. He's made it clear he won't leave. Therefore if you truly desire a physical separation, as much as you don't want to own that responsibility, you will have to be the one to leave. Not sure if you were just venting at H or if it was a serious demand, though (one that you have every right to make).
Have you put up your Christmas tree yet? That could be a fun distraction. Never fails to lift my spirits.
