I think part of the problem is the person who cares the least about the relationship in in control of the relationship and you are having a hard to accepting that after everything he has done to you that he is the the one in control. I think that makes you really angry. Your H is detached right now either because he can take or leave the marriage or because he has zero fear of you ending it. That’s the problem with “reconciliation” without remorse. Right now he has zero incentive to put any effort into this marriage. That may change in the future but the real question will be what is the driving force behind the change?
M:51 W:46 T:22 M:16 S:15 D:11
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith