There’s a disconnect in your positions here. He thinks you’re both piecing, but you aren’t ready for that and have a lot of unresolved stuff to work through.
I think the kindest thing here is to be honest. While you’re in different head spaces there are different expectations, and when expectations aren’t met - it leads to disagreements, arguing, resentment - and ultimately further breaks the marriage.
I don’t know HOW you should go about this (perhaps ask some of the more experienced members on the board) but I think someone needs to flag that you are in different positions and have different expectations.
It will be a hard conversation, but it needs to happen. You can’t keep responding from a place of fear.
