I really appreciate the support . We did have a good time together we were lucky with the weather. Iím fortunate to have those memories with her.

Some days I feel a little better. Some days I am tearful. Itís dark early. I come home to D13 who spends most of her time in her room on the phone with her friends. I eat dinner alone every night. And I guess Iím getting a little sadder because I know that we are going to be on lockdown again. The numbers are rising, the hospitalizations are rising, and measures are being taken by our governor. Itís going to be even more lonely. I have my foot surgery scheduled for dec 18th and I am trying to move it up because I think they are going to stop elective surgeries again. I met my deductible this year, my foot is in so much pain, I can barely walk and I cannot afford not to get it done.
My favorite doctor even offered to call my podiatrist and tell him to get me in ASAP.

One flattering did happen to me. One of the nurses on my floor and I were talking and she asked ďare you dating anyone?Ē I told her no. She told me she never sets anyone up, but her brother is 42 and divorced and not seeing anyone and she was thinking we would be a good match. She says I am very likable and awesome and if Iím open to it, she would like to set us up. I agreed to it. So we will see. I told her to let him look me up on FB and make sure he is attracted first. ( she told me to do the same) Nothing may come from it, but I was alone flattered that she called me very likable and thought I was good enough for her brother. It made me feel good.

Iím on day 4 of no carbs no sugar, no alcohol. Iím hoping I can find the willpower to stick to it. I am just so bored and lonely at night, and kind of sad,ĎI want to reach for it. But I am not. Trying to find little things to do and keep me occupied. Tomorrow night Iím going to the gym. D13 will be with her dad this weekend and I donít have to work, so I need to fill up my weekend somehow.

This COVID bump up is really kicking my butt. I know it means isolation during the cold winter alone and that might make me crazy