Figure out what kind of person I am currently dealing with. Respond to each type completely different: 1) Wise people listen, so talking to them works. 2) When dealing with foolish people, stop talking and set limits and consequences. 3) If the person is behaving evil, let lawyers and law enforcement deal with them.
Remember, 55% of the message is conveyed visually through body language and facial expressions, 38% is expressed vocally by my tempo, tone and inflections and only 7% verbally through my words. Before speaking, assure all 3Vís are congruent to avoid confusing the listener.
I feel like you are in the #2 category. I get frustrated and I see other poster getting frustrated as well. Mostly because you are not changing as fast as we think you should. We could stop posting to you as one of our boundaries. I keep posting to you with hopes of change and because I know other people will read this thread and gain some insight on changes they could make to improve their lives.
As far as your woman, I would determine if she is a 1,2 or 3.
Just know that you are exactly where you need to be in your journey. Every single choice you have made up to this point in your life has gotten you right here. Make different choices and get different results.
Embrace the suck. Amor Fati Every thing happens for a reason. Choose your sacrifice
Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Agreement 2: Don't Take Anything Personally. Agreement 3: Don't Make Assumptions. Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best.
One of the secrets to a good relationship is learning to distinguish between the important issues to express my feelings about and the petty ones to let slide by. Commit to being honest and clear with lots of compassion (kind but true). My sense of concern for the person must be integrated with the truth of what I need to say. Be in approach motivation most of the time. Tell how I feel and why. Respond when I am ready. Stick to self control statements. Stick to my desires. Reiterate what I will do or not do and let them be angry.
You can handle it.-Coach (RIP)
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712