So, your GF is 26 yrs old. She has no job and is freeloading, living with you, and emotionally blackmailing you into marriage. She decides cleaning the house and cooking is a wife's job, and since she doesn't hold that title, she's going to make things more uncomfortable until you marry her. It doesn't bother her that she is not contributing financially, and now she's not helping with chores. She's just going to lay around all day, waiting to have the baby. Lovely young woman you have there! Consider this as a preview of your future with her.


She tells me the longer we are not married and she is pregnant her resentment grows for me.

Wolf, I don't think her resentment will stop, even if you marry her. I see a WW in the making here. It starts with holding deep resentment that she never lets go, then the disrespect comes. The fact that she is punishing you b/c you haven't agreed to immediately marry a sign of more manipulation to come.

As far as birth control neither of us were in charge. I never used anything. I know, I know risky. I was stupid because I was broken and not thinking clearly.

I had a feeling this was the case. Why on earth wouldn't a modern woman who is out there dating, not protect herself from pregnancy, not to mention STD? You say that you were broken and not thinking clearly. Even after the two of you were living together, you didn't stop to consider how fertile a 26 yr old woman is? I may be thinking of a different poster, but it seems I even mentioned how we've seen this happen to other LBH's who date, and the complications it can bring. Anyway, here you are in another pickle. Lean from this, Wolf. Are you ready to start life over with a younger family? I hope you start listening and thinking more clearly, or you are going to find yourself in another M with another wife who doesn't respect you. You are hoping to see the girl you saw when first dating, but she won't show up.

A big part of you feels morally obligated to marry her. Personally, I find it a bit difficult to feel sorry for her, b/c she's old enough to know you can't sleep around without some means of birth control. She was into the free sexual lifestyle, but now she wants to act like a girl in trouble back in the 1950's, and pushing marriage to save face. Today's society doesn't shun single women who are pregnant. The government gives much more free benefits to single mothers, than those who are married. Both of you are responsible for this child, but I don't think marriage is always the answer. Two wrongs don't equal one right. You can support the child, be in his life, just like you are doing with your other kids. You don't have to live with the mother, and you don't have to marry her. I caution you about the commitments you make to her. You are walking on thin ice.

Are the two of you having sex now, or has she cut that off, also? If not, that's next on her list. She won't have sex with you, if you don't agree to her terms. Don't say you haven't been warned. You are only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

Please stick with us, Wolf. It's concerning when you disappear. Let us know what's going on. ((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!