Originally Posted by may22
Hi Wolfman,

I have a question about the divorce paper burning incident. Did she actually try to burn the papers? Or did she just threaten it? Not that either are healthy behaviors, but actually trying to burn them is very scary. Threatening with no real intent of going through with it is super unhealthy attention-seeking behavior, but at a different level.

She had the papers in her hand and was trying to get the bbq lighter to light. Thank god it didnít light. So, after trying to talk to her to stop and put it down I had to grab her arms and get her to drop them. I really felt like she was going to do it. And to make matters worse she was leaning on the gas stove and with her butt she turned the gas on. So now I was even more afraid with the gas running. I didnít want to touch her but I had no choice.

Originally Posted by Mumin
Focus on what is right for the child first and foremost, then you. What is her mental history and childhood like?

How exactly you should move on is up to you. It is a very special situation and I dont know the details well enough. Consider your values and all you have learned about people in the past few years and make a LOGICAL decision.

As far as her mental history at one point she suffered from depression from a break up. That was a year before we met. Like me she was messed up from her break up and was on antidepressants. We didnít talk about that until 6-7 months into dating. Right now we are going to therapy together to work on this, because we have a baby. I am not rushing the marriage thing, especially since I have everything to lose. I will not be forced into something I donít want. I said it before and I will say it again and I think Sandi said it too, she wasnít embarrassed to move in with me, but is embarrassed to have a baby and not be married? And if not married by the time the baby is born she will break up with me and be a single mom? Huh? Her logic confuses me.

M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20