Midlife wife crisis 16

[Wolfman]

Wow so much great information. I love that you all are here for me. Thank you. I see everyone is in agreement as far as wha I need to do. I will try and tackle some of your questions and comments.

She tells me the longer we are not married and she is pregnant her resentment grows for me.

I said I am trying to show her everyday how much I love her and care, and she just stares that’s not enough anymore, she needs a “commitment”. I told her we live together and are committed, and if things get better we will get married. But she has hinted she doesn’t want to wait, and that she might leave.

BIG HUGE MASSIVE red flags flying here - Woooo - Look at me... Big red flag

Seriously, not a healthy woman - YOU were broken after the ex wife - ... Broken people attract Broken people.. Look at the consequences.. Only you can fix this mess - and its not by getting married to another broken person..That becomes toxic..

Have you started to work on your relationship with your other children ?

Thank you for letting me know these are red flags. I was broken and I didn’t listen to the advice on here. And jumped into this. I work on my relationship with my children everyday. In reunification therapy with my daughter. I am being the best father for my children.

.... this will be more about my GF now than my ex. So we started to see a therapist.

Glad to hear.

...Do you have your list of non-negotiables?

Not sure what my non-negotiables are right now. But I know her shutting down and saying she is just my girlfriend And not going to do “wife” things, this is something that is not negotiable. She was is the one who wanted to do all of this now she stops to get “even”.

Isn't your GF 20 yrs younger than you? It's pretty obvious in her actions and what she says.

Look, she had no qualms about dating you before you were D from your W. She had no qualms about sleeping with you, or moving in with you. Right? So, when she says she is embarrassed to be pregnant and single........don't believe it. She is a girl looking for a secured future with a guy who has a good income. I don't think she's going to be in any hurry to get a job, b/c she'll expect you to take care of her.

May I ask which one of you were responsible for birth control when you started sleeping together? I think your answer is important.

We are 15 years apart. I agree she had no problem moving in with me. Where was the embarrassment then? Now because she wants to get married, now she is embarrassed? Not buying it. Oh and if I don’t marry her she will break up with me. How is that not embarrassing? Now you are pregnant and single. I don’t understand that logic.
As far as birth control neither of us were in charge. I never used anything. I know, I know risky. I was stupid because I was broken and not thinking clearly.

AS Thank you. You are right about me showering her with love and affection and I get nothing in return. I am tired of giving and giving and what I want doesn’t matter.
This quote: Your response should be "I'm willing to work on this R with you, but if you don't try then yes, breaking up is always a possibility." She SHOULD be nervous it could happen again, it should give her incentive to work at keeping you.
You are so right. I hold the cards, not her. I put these woman ahead of me most of the time. I have to show my worth. Thank you for that.
This quote too: She's not the prize here. YOU are the prize. Start acting like it!
I actually will, thank you for reminding me!!!!

[quote=Wolfman]]I know I messed up with breaking up with her while she is pregnant, so I have been trying real hard to show her love and affection.

Wait....you broke up with her. But you are the one trying to show her love and affection?! That is some crap there.

Wolf, look, it is simple. You can continue living your life trying to please every woman you fall in love with. Or you can become the man you should be and the father you should be. This will be my final words on your sitch. If you marry this woman then you don't have a brain in your freaking skull.

Best of luck to you.

I know, I need to stop being so nice. I have to make myself the prize not her. It is a load of crap. Thank you!!
You said your final words? Are you leaving me? Please don’t, I value your opinion.

This has been difficult but everyone here is giving me so much strength. Thank you. I know what I have to do. I am going to be a man, make her come for me, I am the prize and if not. Then we will coparent. I am ready to be alone if that’s what it’s going to be. Just focus on myself and kids and that’s it. I really messed up, but I have to step up and be responsible. I will keep everyone updated on what happens. Keep the comments coming I really appreciate it.