Almost our three year recon anniversary. Halloween will be that day. Oddly!
My thoughts. Over the last month, I was having thoughts of being revengeful. I just had feelings of making her feel, the way I felt three years ago. I don't know why or where they were coming from, but I couldn't kick the feeling. I sat my wife down and we talked about it. It was a good talk and it helped. The feeling has started to subside some. I decided to put more effort into my W.
My W perspective: She listened and she gave her input, she says I can't leave her, and I already had my revenge, that's another story. I just looked at her, like really, get the hell out of here. She has really worked hard to make me feel comfortable with trusting her. (Oh, and I didn't say, I would never leave her, I won't ever say that again)
Our M: We are best friends. We talk about everything. We discuss every problem together. She's is truly the woman I wanted to marry.
My feelings/emotions: My feelings and our M are two different things and I know that I have to control my emotions. I have applied a lot that I have learned here and what I have learned from the many books I read and counselors I have seeked out.
I promise, that reconciliation doesn't get easier. It's hardwork. And everything I used to save my M, are the same things I need to work the keep my M and our relationship growing strong.
Do I think that My W and I will be together forever: I don't know, but I do know, that I won't tolerate certain things ever again and that's an awesome feeling. I do know, that I have the courage to fight for my M, with love while also detaching myself from my W actions and emotions. I do know that life is full of mountains and valleys and we can't predict when we are going to be in either one. Lastly, I also know that every person is entitled to their own choices and consequences. It's not up to a LBS spouse to take either the choice or the consequence away from the WS.
Stay strong LBS and keep moving forward.
Onward and Upward
M:36 W:36 T:11 M:10 S16, S12, S9, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.