Itís really true. This is really happening to me.

I spoke to my accountant last night. It was an oversight on his pet.

I remember it clearly now. I had a rollover IRA that I pulled the money out of for the Down payment on my home . I set a certain amount aside anticipating that I would have to pay a tax penalty. I ended up pretty much breaking even so I used that money for expenses in my new house .

I only get to claim my D every other year, on the odd years. My ex gets to claim her even years.

He can do a payment play meant plan with the IRS. But I have been working my butt off to pay down debts and they just keep appearing out of no where. Itís never ending. I work like an animal and have zip to show for it.

I need to get out of this god forsaken state. There will be no relief until I do. If I told you my mortgage , you would pass out. If I told you rents relative to my mortgage. You would die. Itís not doable on a one family income.

Anyways, I appreciate you guys thinking good things are coming my way, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

But my life has been a struggle since I was a kid. It has not been so stable, Iíve been through so much. And every time I have ever seen a light, sure as sh!t the black cloud rolls right in. I have absolutely zero reason to be hopeful about anything. And Iím also in this struggle alone.

My daughter saw my nervous breakdown last night. Unfortunately this house I pay so much for is really tiny and there is no where to hide to have a proper breakdown . I feel bad she saw it. But I lost it. And she hugged me and told me she loves me .

Some people have godawful luck. Iím one of them. And Iím done paying for my wrong doings in life.

In my 40 years this might be the lowest Iíve felt .

I have a retirement party tonight. I donít even want to go and I was really looking forward to it. I did a very hardcore workout this morning and all of a sudden I found all the stamina I had lost. It was one hour I didnít think about anything but breathing. It was good. I guess itís my medication. With a heart rate of 180, lol