The first is from my relationship with my father who looked at me and treated me as if I had hung the moon.

Yes, I had that too. I did suffer when younger from some insecurities - bring a nerdy smart science type was a turn off for some guys. I spent way too much energy trying to please my ex and keep him happy. But since my divorce Iíve felt differently about dating. Coming off a long marriage, I donít NEED another man or a marriage to affirm me. Iím more concerned with whether a guy has something to offer me that I want in terms of companionship. And I no longer have a fixed idea of what that looks like. And not surprisingly, the less I pursue, the more men pursue me.