Rachel. I completely agree with what Gigi is saying. Donít just let him come back without any hoops to jump through. Back in 2014, four years before BD, XH woke up one morning and told me he wasnít happy, wasnít living the life he was supposed to be living and started talking about us living in side by side duplexes. I basically told him he was crazy and that there was no way we could afford it and that he needed to get his sh!t together. So...he spent six months going to counselling, a menís group etc... and then five months later, had a meltdown and moved into his friendís garage for a month with barely any contact with me and our kids. At the end of that month, he contacted me and said he was coming home and that he was ďbetterĒ and in love with me again. I was so relieved, I just said okay and let him come back no questions asked. The rest of the story is on my thread but suffice it to say, whatever it was he was going through was not over. I think he tried in the beginning but eventually he just went underground and his life became one giant lie. Fast forward six years and we are divorced. In hindsight, I should have never let him just come back. It put him squarely in the driverís seat and he 100% took me for granted. I should have insisted we go to counselling and that we date for awhile. I know that seems dumb, the dating part, but that was one thing that was really missing in our marriage. We spent almost no time together alone since our kids were about two and he had forgotten why he fell in love with me in the first place. I was the mom of his kids but that was about it. Donít let your H take you for granted.


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018