Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by harvey
BTW, I started dating my GF a little over a year after BD and about 9 months after divorce. Everybody's timeframe is different. I think if you really look inside yourself, you'll know if you are ready.


harvey, the problem isn't timeframe....it is mindset. If the LBS is dating to "stop the bleeding" (IE put on a bandaid) then they are doing it for the wrong reasons. Your timeframe is a short one. Not sure how things are going with your gf, but I would argue that in the vast majority of LBSs, 9 months post D, after BD was just 4 months prior, is not a healthy timeframe. Maybe it will work out for you...maybe it won't. But LBSs have other things to be focusing on in the shortterm and dating isn't one of them.


People are built different. I've always been somebody that handles adversity well. DB through mid summer 2019 was the toughest time of my life, but by August I felt ready to date. I met my GF at a funeral in April 2019 and we hit it off, but I told her that I wasn't ready to start dating. I wasn't. We kept in contact via text. By August I felt ready and I told her that. We've been dating 13 months and things are going strong. We could break up, any relationship could end, but it's not because I wasn't ready to start dating 13 months ago.

Some people may need more than 2 years. I don't think 1 year or 2 years is a magic number. Maybe most men aren't ready to start dating after 9 months or even 1 year, but some will be. You have to be completely honest with yourself though. I think what helped me was the fact we were separated immediately after DB (even before since we were in the process of moving to another state).