Originally Posted by harvey
I try to be a rock for my GF--calm, cool, and collected. Nothing's going to bring me down. smile

The thing I've worked on the most is to truly listen to my GF. Women aren't looking for us to fix things--which goes against our nature. I don't even have to agree with what she's saying, but I try to validate the feelings behind her words.


Wow! Perfect.

I have two daughters and a lot of what I'm doing, as I become a different man, is watch how they respond. They like the more vulnerable Dad. Without criticizing their Mom, I tell them about hopes and dreams that were dashed when my STBXW walked out, just so they can get insight into how wonderful a guy I am.

I also show that I am totally open to suggestions that they make. For example, my youngest (age 19) was talking about the reason she drinks non-dairy milk. So I went out and bought oat milk, the first time ever I just didn't get regular milk. Both girls were really impressed. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big a deal, but to have let them influence my life, even in a small way, mattered. I also decided that people matter more than ideas or politics. So I get off my high horse a lot when it comes to things like that -- more accepting of the world the way it is, not critical. To my girls, it is a huge thing. I expect it will be the same to a future GF or Mrs Tom.

As for the timing when I begin to date again, thanks for your perspective. I think the right approach is to start slowly, tasting a lot of the wares out there, and make good choices. There's more I could say but probably not here.