Update: still haven't heard from him since Thursday evening. That means he has not called the kids literally all week long at bedtime. He spent $600 on "groceries" because he felt guilty he wasn't contributing to rent while living with OW. Ugh.

The kids have barely asked about him. It seems the younger 2 just forget he exists now. Really sad as this is not what I wanted for them. I guess his threat of coming back home was BS, which is good. I started browsing houses today just to see what is out there. I can't keep up with the size of our house and maintenance on it if I am by myself. It would be nice to start over somewhere else. I am also looking to take on more clients so I can afford this mess and keep my kids home with me.

Things I am doing well with: haven't snooped on his messages in almost a month. I have barely initiated any contact with him, and haven't at all since his suicide threats. This is definitely a big 180 for me because in the past I would have contacted him a few times especially amid the suicide talk.

I am usually feeling fine most mornings, but in the afternoons/evenings I get hit with a lot of depression and just not wanting to do anything. I have binged way too many tv shows lately.