Thank you Sage for responding. I feel so alone in all this and it really helps when people who understand can converse with me. So far today, I have not heard from him. I don't plan to call. I suppose it is the weekend, but I assume he will not follow through with his plan to move back home. I'm doing okay so far today. I took the kids to walk the trails at the park and play on the playground and get some time out of the house. I have to start figuring out a way to get more income assuming this moves forward toward D.
I spoke to the first lawyer again yesterday and updated him. He said if H does try to move back home, he can file an order for temporary use of the house so that H cannot be here.
Part of me is thinking that if he comes back home something good can come of that down the line, if the right things happen. I know that has to be crazy. Please someone feel free to slap me in the face about that.
I screenshot every one of his suicide-ish messages in case I need them later on. I know he was mainly saying these things because he was drinking (which he usually doesn't do) but still. NOT okay. It felt SO GOOD to say that and hang up. I can only wonder what she was thinking while he called his wife to cry. *eye roll*
I think the things I said to H yesterday affected the eldest the most. He seems to be doing okay, and I think I apologized pretty similarly to your suggestion so hopefully that was good. I know S8 needs time with me and stability and calm right now so I am doing my best to provide that.