You are most welcome, Ginger. It sounds like you are overdue for a vacation focused on you. A wellness retreat sounds wonderful.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
I actually have a lot of vacation time left at work. I put in for some time. I think Im going to take maybe a 3-4 day break just for me. My daughter will freak. She will give me the you are going WITHOUT me?!? But too darned bad. She had a nice long vacation to Myrtle beach and supposedly is going to Hawaii next year.

Just as they say during the safety demonstration in flights, you need to put your mask on first before you help others. Your well being is important for you to take care of your daughter. I don't think you should feel guilty about taking some time for yourself to heal when she is with her father.

[quote=Ginger1] But whatever is happening to her lately is disheartening. I feel like Im failing somewhere. And I am the sole enforcer of consequences and having that very close mother/daughter relationship which comes with lots of friction too of course..... its really been a challenge.

Your daughter is growing up and is likely to assert a need for more independence as a teenager. The harder you hold the rope, the more she may rebel. Perhaps give her a little more space and cut her some slack on minor things that are not serious? I don't know if this is the case but I would encourage you to think about whether you are giving your daughter the space she needs or if you are struggling with a loss of control as she transitions from the little girl, whose life revolved around you, to a teenager.