I'm really sorry. That sounds so difficult. Can you talk to your family and your friend and ask them to please not get involved? Just what you said here, that events like yesterday are supposed to be for the kids and you're having a difficult enough time as it is? That what you need is their supportive presence right now but any comments are really not helpful? I know it is really tough for them to see you hurting like this, and I'm sure they want to knock some sense into your H. Hopefully they'll be able to set aside their own emotional response so that they can be there for you in the way you need.
Me (45) H (41) M:13 T:17, D8 & D10 4/19 BD #1 ILYB 8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA 12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA 2-5/20 R attempt #1 6-7/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP 8/20-present R attempt #2