Do you think itís possible your dadís in the early stages of dementia? Mood changes and perseveration can be early signs. His depressed obsessing about his money and years left could be a sign of this - or could just be part of pre-existing self-absorption.
You sound depressed, hon - this crazy year is messing with a lot of peopleís mental health. Please reach out to your doctor or therapist.
Oh - and Iíve been seeing a quote going around about how extreme independence is a trauma response.