Whichever way things go, I have a great need for closure. I need to know the why. I need to know what I did wrong from her perspective. I would have those two needs whether I had written her off forever or whether I still harbored a tiny hope of getting back together.
This will not be revealed just now and not easily. You have to let go of the need to know why. In all likelyhood you did plenty of thing wrong, probably some very wrong. You have to dig inside and own up to your mistakes. Then forgive yourself and start working on yourself to make a better you.
Originally Posted by tom_h
So there is a lot of ground to plough. I am Christian man, I am commanded to forgive, and I have. I was clear about that before the end of the second month to her, in writing. Yet, forgiveness does NOT mean I take her back! It just means I never hate, and let go of any anger and hurt. In my case, I just felt searing pain. I loved her too much to be angry. But is that love dead? But would I take her back? She is not the person I once knew, and the chances, at this time, would be very very small.
See, this is what I have a problem with. You call yourself a Christian man, yet you cannot wait to date other women. What part of :"In sickness and in health, for better or for worse..." did you not understand?!? This is the worse part, in case you are wondering. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder". You are married and it is time to start behaving as one.