One thing that happens here - and presumably elsewhere is sometimes when someone dies all of their assets go up for auction. If a family member is bidding then the auctioneer becomes rather tunnel visioned and only sees family members. Everyone else there is in on it and generally nobody minds. If someone really really wants grandma's blue plate, they can outbid everyone else.
One thought that I've had is to allocate shares. Each kid gets an equal share in the estate as valued by an impartial third party. Other than specific bequests, everything is up for grabs and they can bid on them - only using the shares from the estate.
In my case I have very little "stuff" and I'm sure neither one wants the house so it may be a way to divvy up what there could be questions on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells