Thank you LH, MrB, Ovr, Deja & Steve! I AM doing well! Getting responses here and perspective on what I am going through is always so very helpful. Both in deciding what to do and boosting my confidence.
To clarify I dont WANT her to live with me. I want to move on asap. I simply know she is taking pretty much zero responsibility for her actions and the alternative is me taking the kids 100% which will be hard with work (though I will suggest this if it comes to it), or kids living with OM. W has said OM doesnt want that and frankly I dont want that either. Also OM lives on the other side of town.
Realistically if she is buys an apt some time next month she wont be able to move in till next year. Usually there is a 2-3 month transfer period where I live. So I will suggest she moves out in November and then I guess its a negotiation... Then I will bring this up with the L when we have the meeting. If she stays at the house she will obviously have to pay some sort of rent.
You see this is how things can get misconstrued around here. I suggested it to core because his W seemed to no longer be in an affair and had at least mentioned reconciliation. No last talks when someone is in an active affair.
This is why I brought it up. To make sure I got the boards view.
What is the purpose of the relationship status change? You aren't single yet, legally. This feels like a passive-aggressive move. Like when a LBS removes their wedding band in order to "wake-up" their WAS.
EDIT: Or did you mean you will do this post-D?
Yes I inted to do it after we arnt legally married. If she is still living at the house (hope not) I might reconsider. I might.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021