We also talked about his budget and finances - he doesn’t have much fat in his budget but we did talk about how buying certain food items at Costco might allow him to shave off a little bit.
A key thing that I keep hammering on with S and the boys (and my own kids can recite) is that the most expensive food to buy is the food you don't eat. Right now we throw out an astounding (to me) amount of food that is bought "on sale" or in too large of a quantity to eat down before it turns.
So - for many things, I actually buy the smaller containers. Things I buy in "bulk" like breakfast sausages and bacon I re-pack into individual servings (lay bacon out on waxed paper and then accordion fold it up). Then I can have a couple of sausages and some bacon without opening a whole package.
I presume you have your son tracking his spending? It can be quite the eye-opener to see where the money is going. You've mentioned the envelope system before which can work quite well for some people.
You comments about your ex are interesting. I think that a lot of us don't realize what impact their selfish behaviours have had on developing minds. I do know that my daughter still harbours a lot of resentment towards her mother that pre-dates her cheating. I know nothing about whatever current relationship they may have but I think that for many of us, especially those of us with older kids, what we overlooked at the time is perhaps reflected in the children.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells