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It was a sad post to read. You canít stop someone from jumping ship. What does committed to making her feel safe there mean to you? You let everyone and everything come and go as they/it pleases. She pretty much has taken over, so if she doesnít feel safe thatís on her.
She doesnít seem to commit to anything and runs from every storm. This is her pattern. And you canít kill your self trying to break it. She has to want to do that.