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Short recap: Me: 34 STBXW: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 (I start wondering about OM) Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 I filed for D: 29th March 2020
Now. -I am living in the house 100%. She is living 50% with OM. -We have a meeting to finalize the financial aspects of D on the 29th of September -She is "less" Wayward and acting cordially towards me. Good for co-parenting.
Most recent post from AnotherStander:
You're recovering. Right after BD you excuse all the bad treatment and blame yourself for it. Then you come to realize that her bad treatment of you is a reflection of her character flaws, not yours. But the feelings are still there (I think this is where you are now). Then eventually the feelings fade and you're left with an honest, unflinching appraisal of who she has become, and most likely it won't be someone you're interested in. So don't beat yourself up too much trying to sort it all out, it will come with time. It took about 2 years post BD for me.
Thanks AS this chimes very well and its great to be reminded about the time aspects of this. Im not even a year post BD. Also LH, great perspective! No one know what the future holds!
As summary said I have booked a meeting to finalize the financials of D. REALLY hoping she agrees to what we have said so far. I have some plans for the house but waiting till its final. After, I could legally ask W to move out immediately but I wont. Not sure how long I should give her.
Journal: Last few days have been good. I have actually thought quite a lot about W and our R but mostly contemplating and it hasnt really brought my mood down. Today my parents are coming to spend time with me and the kids this weekend. Should be great! Will also play golf with some colleagues tomorrow which I am really looking forward to! Having a hard time getting real commitment at work. Corona and being fairly good at my job isnt a good mix.
W bought a new pair of shoes that cost almost a third of her monthly income after tax... Shoes! I dont mention these things to her at all. But if she starts to back down on the house valuation we agreed on I sure will.
This morning I told the kids that they will meet a new babysitter and W heard. First W seemed angry and commented something like "Why not tell me. I would like to know whos spending time with my kids". I explain its a very safe person and told her how I know. Later she sort of asked if she can use that babysitter too and I just said that is up to her (the babysitter).
REALLY hoping D will be complete by the end of this thread. Early November one of us must send in a confirmation of the D and I intend to do it ASAP. Wondering if I should have a "last talk" with W but that might as well be after the D. Right now I am absolutely leaning towards no talk. Will update my FB relationship status to single but I am no longer that eager to get on dating apps. Time will tell. Like you said LH No one knows the future.
Last edited by Mumin; 09/18/2009:38 AM.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021