I read your latest updates. Wow, such a difficult situation to be in! I hope the upcoming weekend offers you some respite and calm. I'll refrain from advice per your request. You are strong. You've got this!
May'19 - Girlfriend of 2yrs left. Aug'19 - We became a "broken" couple (I needed validation, she screamed). Dec'19 - We gave up and went NC. Mar'20 - I've changed and she's eager for MC and us again.