May - hang in there. I admire you for speaking so candidly about your H and your talks/feelings - I am sure it can be really hard to open up here and feel vulnerable and then have to defend him. You seem self aware enough to make your own decisions, and take what comes with them.

I've brought this up in others' threads before, but in the enabling vein - an impactful al anon saying that I think about a lot is giving someone the dignity to fail on their own. I think that applies and sounds like what doing nothing right now is here for you - you're giving him the dignity to fail, and that is a good thing. By not engaging and taking some time, it leaves your own emotional bandwidth available for you instead of being used up solving his problems (directly or indirectly). Kicking him out is only solving his problem of indecision for him when you aren't sure if it'd be solving a problem for you. Only do what solves your problems, and those of your children. I def agree that the post-nup sounds like it falls into that category. It doesn't mean he will fail - that's on him to find out, and he can't do that unless others let him.

I think the same applies here to you/those who give you advice - you are allowed the dignity to fail (or not fail) on your own, too. Hugs to you.