Originally Posted by DejaVu6

I do get what you are saying Dawn. I really do. But it is a different situation. If he was the sick one, I would expect nothing of OW regarding the care of my kids because I am their mom and it is my responsibility. My agreement is not with her, it is with him and he is perfectly fine so expecting him to have a conversation with me is not asking too much. And in terms of being overwhelmed with having a ďsickĒ spouse, I know EXACTLY how that feels because I lived it for four years. Even though it turned out to be a bunch of baloney, I didnít know that. My situation was as real to me as yours was to you. Our kids, his daughter and his mom didnít know it either so not only did I have to manage my feelings during that time, I also had to manage theirs. It was a living hell... for YEARS. He didnít give a crap how overwhelmed I was or how it was impacting our kids. So, respectfully, I am fully entitled to feel irritated by this. He is lucky that is all I feel.

Yes my situation was somewhat different because I was in the role of your XH but my point in telling that story was just to help you see it from a different perspective. I didnít intend to be rude or disrespectful at all. And as I myself pointed out in my post, yes, you are entitled to feel annoyed or whatever other emotion you feel. I wasnít trying to sway you or say you were wrong...just trying to help you see a different angle.

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)