Thanks both of you. As usual DnJ...you recommend taking the high road and of course, i will.

I do get what you are saying Dawn. I really do. But it is a different situation. If he was the sick one, I would expect nothing of OW regarding the care of my kids because I am their mom and it is my responsibility. My agreement is not with her, it is with him and he is perfectly fine so expecting him to have a conversation with me is not asking too much. And in terms of being overwhelmed with having a “sick” spouse, I know EXACTLY how that feels because I lived it for four years. Even though it turned out to be a bunch of baloney, I didn’t know that. My situation was as real to me as yours was to you. Our kids, his daughter and his mom didn’t know it either so not only did I have to manage my feelings during that time, I also had to manage theirs. It was a living hell... for YEARS. He didn’t give a crap how overwhelmed I was or how it was impacting our kids. So, respectfully, I am fully entitled to feel irritated by this. He is lucky that is all I feel.

It’s the principle of it more than anything. Anytime I have asked him for help, I have done so as far ahead of time as possible and I have made up for the extra days. Honestly...when i take into account all of the times he hasn’t looked after our kids in the past five years, he probably owes me about 700 days and that is probably on the low side. And of course I want to see my kids but single parenting is hard and I need breaks and they need to see their dad. He actually said “I guess I could take them during the week” once he is back home as if not having her there meant that he could just skip it. Uh no...you’re their dad. It is irrelevant whether or not you have someone else there to help you.

Anyway...I am over it. As DnJ so rightly declared...feelings are fleeting. I told him he has my support and I meant it. I doubt it has even crossed his mind that what he is going through is exactly what he put me through. TBH...that is the part that is irritating.


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018