Yeah that's really f'd up. Your mom may have been the "crazy' one but your dad doesn't have every marble he should either. I'm sorry you got dealt such a lousy hand for parents. Yet despite all that, you're doing a FANTASTIC job parenting your daughter.
I know you've still got a few years until your daughter graduates high school - but where would you move if that day was today? It's nice to daydream, to start thinking about your choices.
And what does your kitchen really need? Is there a way to refresh it without spending a ton of money?