Seems to be the week for some of us to see things rose coloured. Must be the particulate from the US West coast fires
Even though there are a lot of similarities between the various stories, I think many of us who had long term marriages can look back with few regrets. But we also have firmly embedded ways of communicating and expectations. What one partner would accept as constructive criticism, another treats as disrespect and meddling.
My ex and I could rarely work on projects together. I am a very patient and methodical person and - well - she wasn't. Each doing the things we were good at worked well. I'd putter around the house fixing things and she'd sit on the couch eating potato chips. She was very good at that. Unlike S, there were rarely part bags left behind.
I can imagine CMM wanting to contribute in a "manly" way and feeling "less than" when you contributed your input which may have sounded like a lack of faith in his abilities. I don't know him at all, but I would imagine that some sort of "win" on something that he truly is good at would perhaps be called for. As I recall it, he came from a fairly abusive relationship so his ego has undoubtedly taken quite a beating.
You and I have a tough road in front of us. Especially when our expectations, as set by former partners, aren't relevant.
Stay safe - I presume the fires aren't anywhere close to you?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells