Well May if your core values are loyalty, honesty and integrity and your husbands are infidelity, lies and manipulation you can certainly see where this could/will be an issue in your marriage.
So I know you have read on the board what it takes for a successful reconciliation. I have posted many times and I know Sandi has also. So if right out of the gate you are afraid to separate for him to work on his issues that he will text A/P then do you really reconciliation is really on the table?
So a two plus year affair is not a reason to separate but some yelling at one another is acceptable? Come on May quit BSing yourself. When you are seeing your IC forget about your marriage and get to the root cause of what you are so afraid of and start working on that.
M:51 W:46 T:22 M:16 S:15 D:11
“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith